At my wits end....

After sitting in front of my washing machine crying at 4am this morning I decided to see if there was anyone else in my situation and fortunately found this site. Some background - my daughter Taryn Lily was born term+1 day at 6lb 4oz. She was a lovely breastfeeder but within days I could tell something was wrong. Even as a tiny baby she was stiff as a board and would scream hysterically after feeding. I thought it should be the other way round - scream for food not after it. She was completely different to my son. This went on and on and endless Doctors visits resulted in nothing but "she's colicky", "she's just a little madam" etc. When the vomiting started at 9 weeks I knew something wasn't right. She would projectile for England. Again the Doc wasn't concerned. Then her bottom started to become blistered and she had really bad diarrhoea. She didn't sleep, she screamed all day, screamed when held, screamed when put down, arched her back and generally was unhappy. I was exhausted and so was my Husband and my poor son (2 at the time) was really neglected.

By 11 weeks we had had enough and asked for a referral. She hadn't put much weight on and was really tiny and still in newborn clothes at this stage. We saw a Consultant privately who diagnosed not only reflux but a dairy and soya allergy. I was advised to stop feeding and she was put onto Neocate. She had a milk scan who confirmed the reflux and was started on Ranitidine and Gaviscon. Things improved slightly and she stopped being sick but a week later it started again. We did the whole postural therapy thing and not allowing her to lie flat - we didn't even use a pram and she was in the sling wherever she went. Unfortunately the sickness came back even worse. We ended up in hospital when she was 5 months old and since then nothing much has changed. She's been moved from formula to formula - we've had Pepti and Nutramigen. Nothing settles her.

I weaned her at 5 months on the advice of the consultant in the hope that food would be a little more heavier and stay down - No !

Taz (as she is affectionally known) is now 10.5 months. She is constantly screaming and arching her back, sick every day, has a permanently blistered bottom and is just not happy. When she isn't being sick (rare occurrence) she is the happiest baby ever.

Her development hasn't been affected - she was crawling at 7 months, walking round the furniture at 8 and is now standing on her own and ready for walking. She's also chatting away and understands EVERYTHING you say to her! Trust me!!!!! So I am not worried here. What I am worried about is the pain she is going through and how much food she doesn't keep down.

She won't settle without milk and screams for up to 2 hours if allowed (on advice of Consultant "don't give her milk"). Last night she was fed at 6pm and I took her up to bed at 7pm. Put her in her sleeping bag and 'whoosh' the lot came up (including the food she had eaten at lunch and dinner). She was changed and settled again and put down - ten minutes later 'whoosh' - the rest came up. Again another change and finally settled at 8.30pm. At midnight she woke again, screamed then was sick. Another bed and clothing change. Then again at 5am. This time she didn't go back to sleep and was awake then until 11am - hysterical. She is only sick at night - never in the day. She loves food but only if she can feed herself and feeding time is a nightmare. She refuses anything from a spoon and just wants to eat bread. I can't get protein into her at all. She loves weetabix and the consultant has said to give her what she wants but how can I allow an 11 month old to live on weetabix.

I am disheartened with the consultant and we will be phoning the docs tomorrow to be referred elsewhere. Not sure what else I can do.

The comment from the consultant "when she is 2-4 years and grown out of it you will look back and smile" infuriated me and nearly prompted a response "yes smiling through my happy pills"!!!!!!!!!!!! I am a very very calm, collected, chilled out person and usually nothing gets me down but the constant noise of my washing machine, the lack of clean clothes, bedding, sleeping bags and sleepsuits is slowly grinding me down but mostly the thought that my beautiful daughter is going through so much pain.

There - got my story out. Not sure what I can get from this site but I'm going to have a look as this is my first visit.

Thanks for listening

Ali