13 months old and still not sleeping

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Permalink Reply by Michelle on October 2, 2008 at 12:52

Sorry you are still struggling. I just have a few thoughts which might all be completely helpless but anyway. The fact that he slept so well in Italy makes me think it is more likely to be habit? Is there anything at all that you or he had different in your diet in Italy which could be the cause? Was it really hot - maybe he likes the heat! Lauren had always woken at 5-5:30am and that was the start of everyones day (I always had in the back of my mind that it might be reflux), but then we came back from US, and the jetlag caused her to completely change her sleeping habits and she started sleeping much better during the day for solid 1-2 hour chunks and she now doesn't wake till 7am. I thought she would revert back but weeks later and this is her new routine. Maybe you could take a long haul flight and let the jetlag do its work!! Seriously though..... It sounds to me more like habit. Is there anyway you could leave him with family for a couple of nights - would be good for you and Dennis to have a break and could also help you understand whether it is habit or reflux? We did this when Lauren was 6 months. I actually went to my mums for 10 days prepared for the worse and after just 2 nights with my mum dealing ith Lauren at night she was sleeping through till 5am from 7pm.

Anyway, sorry, rambling on, but hope this may be of some use?

If you can, try to get a couple of nights away from him, it will do everyone the world of good.

xxx

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Permalink Reply by Michelle on October 2, 2008 at 12:56

Also, just a thought, it could be that he has got back into habit of breastfeeding at night which is having a negative effect as he is getting too full and it is causing him discomfort or even reflux as at 13 months he doesn't need it and he may just be so full (sorry I know you already know this i don't mean to sound like some HV). Would he take a bottle of water as comfort?

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Permalink Reply by Francesca on October 2, 2008 at 14:29

hiya
we've tried water in various forms (fennel cammomile sugared normal etc etc) and he does take it but it doesn't settle him and so he cries and then as always (day or night) it comes straight back up. Liquid is something he is generally not good with. Even in the day - give him water and watch him struggle after it to get a burp out. In the night this equates to screaming his lungs out in discomfort and then the regurgitation of it is usually vomit.
oh i don't know - just tired. i'll see if mum wants him when i am back but my sister ha him once and that put her off trying for number 3 and left her terrorised and she hasn't had him since. mum will probably be the same but with dad screaming alongside maxi
seriously, Max is the sort of baby that could probably scream and cry all night. My aunt told me my cousin was the same and that she did a controlled crying thing with him and it never worked. It was all the rage back then and she says she so regrets it as it never worked and it was 7 days of hell to just go back to what theyhad to begin with but she feels with a really shy insecure baby after it
rambling - will stop!

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Permalink Reply by Fran on October 2, 2008 at 14:51

poor you - we are in the same boat with a 14 month old. When our baby wakes up crying during the night most of the time he is still asleep and just needs to burp / fart and then is ok. Like you though, he is then howling in pain by 5am. We seem to have good and bad periods and there is absol no rhyme or reason to any of it which is why I think the condition is so hideous. Then like you, my husband and I hiss at each in the middle of the night about what to do - agrrrrrrrr. It might be worth trying to see a gastric specialist as I don't think babies wake up generally unless they really have to - Adam is just knackered in the middle of the night (and at 5) and just wants to sleep but can't. We are already on horrid strong drugs tho - losec - so not sure what else can be done for us. I am so dog tired all the time. I just want a tiny bit of my life back...........don't think there will be number 2!!! good luck!! ps i am still breastfeeding too. wanted to give up months and months ago but impos as he is dairy intolerant and won't take formula plus like you it sometimes seems to settle him (anti-acid properties I read somethere but not sure if true). Want my body back too!! ppps where are you based? I just marched in to the docs with the name of a gastric consultant and insisted we were referred. we are under Dr Eltumi, who I think a lot of people on this site see

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Permalink Reply by Francesca on October 2, 2008 at 16:25

Fran
not only same name (sort of) but also seems like pretty much same situation.
i'm based in South london - Streatam and we were seeing Dr bentley at the Cromwell but because my husband was against giving all the drugs he prescribed we see him only occasionally and for him to look at us as if we are a bunch of yuppy hippies who are all into alternative medicines. Not true. we would have given the meds if we saw they worked wonders with other babies but my sisters little girl was on them and altho they solved set of probs they didn't exactly do a world of good. anyway - rambling
but yes! i don't think maxi wakes because he wants to. i think he is in pain. i think he knows the b.milk helps. he doesn't do it for comfort because he isn'ty that type of baby. he doesn't really do cuddles. even with the night feeds he will push me away quickly when he is done. he won't just sit there endlessly. he likes to be in his bed, in his space
i can see he is difficult to wind and burps and farts do not come easy to him. i think that that is where the issue lies and with a sort of reflux / stomach acid thing. i'm ok with teh breast feeding thing but would just like to have it like it was in italy - before his lunch time nap and before bed and then once at night. or something similar...

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Permalink Reply by Fran on October 3, 2008 at 11:50

Your comment made me smile about him pushing you away. My son is exactly like this. No time for cuddles in his world. People to see, places to go!!! He also prefers being in his cot altho I wish he would settle in bed with us as it would be so much easier than being up and down half the night! I hate giving adam the drugs. when I was pregnant I was so paranoid about all chemicals and only took paracetomol twice, then adam arrives and seems to be dosed up the eyeballs non-stop. I don't dare ask about your sister's little girl but what were the side effects? They say the reflux is heriditary so interesting that your poor sister has it too. I think my husband had it as my mother-in-law is the least sympathetic person in the world cos I think she thinks it's normal!! x

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Permalink Reply by Francesca on October 3, 2008 at 14:04

my mother in law didn't really understand and kept telling me he was fine. then again, so did so many people. till they spent more than say a half hour with him.
anyway...
my sister's little girl - really long story. but let's just say that i saw that the drugs never got to the root cause. root cause was , well WERE, a number of things including - a child with a lot of allergies - milk, dairy generally, eggs. funnily enough at age 6 they have given her some sort of anti-histamine and THAT has made her tummy aches and reflux much worse.
but yes, at age 6 there are stil issues. she was on the ranitidine till 5. i know that much. but anyway...

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Permalink Reply by liz on October 5, 2008 at 19:23

Hi Francesca,

I really do sympathise, you must be exhausted. We were lucky, as controlled crying did work for us. I know it's absolutely awful, but if you really grit your teeth and make the decision that you're going to do it and not give up, it probably will work eventually and then you can all get your sanity back.

I would recommend giving an osteopath a try. I know it's expensive but the one my son goes to has been wonderful. She completely understands everything, and explains all his behaviour. She says that babies in pain go into 'fight or flight' mode - in other words they're on constant alert and will never sleep deeply and will wake at the slightest thing. An osteopath should be able to calm this down, and it definitely worked for my son. Also we took him to her whilst doing controlled crying, and she helped him with any 'trauma' it may be causing.

I really hope things get better soon.

good luck

liz x