Getting baby to sleep

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Permalink Reply by steph on July 16, 2008 at 21:19

Hello

we leave James to sleep on his own but I always wait for 45min to one hour after the feed (unless he falls asleep during the feed on rare occasions). We also sometimes feel his cries are different so we go back up to hold him until he burps and back down. On bad days we wait longer.
He is near 10 months old and we still do this. I also want to be confortable that he will be ok and not choke.

Good luck

steph

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Permalink Reply by Ginny S on July 16, 2008 at 22:00

I was told to do this as well by a maternity nurse when Stella was 5 months old. It was a complete disaster. She wasn't too bad at going to sleep before I tried letting her cry it out, but after a week of leaving her to it she started to freak out at the sight of her room, let alone her cot and was throwing up all over the place, poor thing. I would advise against it! The reflux changes everything. Stella needs to be held to fall asleep, she now does this well, at 8 months, started at 7 months. To me it's all about the pain of reflux. Now she is on losec and no domperidone she is so much better at going to sleep, before she would scream for about three hours every night, it was awful. They definitely need to be held upright for a time after a feed. I hold stella in the dark in her room, now only for about five minutes, letting her fall asleep Works for me! Good luck x

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Permalink Reply by Emma on July 16, 2008 at 22:11

Hi

Fraya can go to sleep on her own but has started screaming uncontrollably now at bedtime and if I put her in her cot (she screams until she vomits all of her feed) so I find it is easier to rock her to sleep and then put her down asleep. In the night if she wakes she then settles herself. It is just the inital going to sleep that she seems to have trouble with.

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Permalink Reply by Emma on July 17, 2008 at 13:16

Hi Zoe,
My daughter is 9 months old now, and we went through EVERYTHING in the book on how to teach your baby to sleep. But we had to throw in the towel at last and admit that a reflux baby is different, probably due to the pain and discomfort they are in. So don't let any nurse or well-meaning mother of a non-reflux baby tell you that you're spoiling your baby by comforting it to sleep. Believe me, it's the only way to do it. From reading this website, it seems some reflux babies sleep fine, but not mine. It is our biggest problem. To get her to sleep, we make sure she is up for at least 1 and a half hours after her last feed (always has lots of wind at night), and then take her into her darkened room, and sing/rock/walk her to sleep. We can put her in the cot when she has relaxed enough that she is just on the verge of falling into her deep sleep. It can take anywhere from 1 min to 20 mins. We tried letting her cry it out lots of times, but like you she ended up in a right state, and had developed wind from the crying too. When she wakes at night (which she always does numerous times), we usually have to lift her till she stops crying and relaxes again, and then put her back in the cot. We haven't had one night's sleep in 9 months - it's a real stress. All we can hope for is that we don't have much longer to wait until her reflux goes. But who knows.
I would advise you do whatever it takes to get your baby to sleep in the easiest way for you and him - once he is feeling better, he will learn to sleep easily if you are determined enough. But there is no point, and it is not fair, in the meantime to stress him out and leave him crying in discomfort, never mind the stress it causes you. Reflux babies are different - I have learned to stop reading all my baby-advice books, as none of them are of any help to us. In fact, they make matters worse!
Good luck with Isaac.
Emma

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Permalink Reply by Zoe Davies on July 17, 2008 at 13:52

Thank you all so much for your replies - it is such a help to read your experiences. None of the books you get are much help if your baby has reflux. Now I know I'm doing the right thing with a reflux baby I can relax. I really appreciate you all taking the time to reply xx Zoe

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Permalink Reply by steph on July 17, 2008 at 20:10

Zoe

just wanted to add one thing, we are all different and so the babies are too, And to be honest you should not feel guilty as you react and act in a way that you can cope with (and that is all that matters inaddition to the love you have for your baby.

Steph

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Permalink Reply by Victoria on July 17, 2008 at 20:24

Hi Zoe,

I think the best thing to do is what you feel is right...not what you think you SHOULD do. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my baby to cry it out and certainly not to the point that they are sick. Do what you feel is best for his and your happiness. If it means difficulties further down the line then you'll deal with it, for now it sounds like the reflux is the main problem so wait until thats under control and then deal with the sleep issue! I don't think you're doing anything wrong, just doing the best for him at the moment.
x

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Permalink Reply by Jo on July 18, 2008 at 9:59

Hi Zoe,
I am really glad you asked the sleep question as I have the same issues, and it has been absolutely great to read all the replies to know I am not alone. My baby is uncomfortable lying down when he is awake even on an angle, I think because he is constantly swallowing, and after a couple of minutes needs to be picked up to be able to burp or be sick, hence we have not managed any formal sleep training. We keep him upright after his last feed in an evening for at least an hour, and we gently rock him to sleep every night in our arms holding him upright. We have tried to let him go to sleep sitting on our laps upright but that is too uncomfortable for him as he is too "scrunched up" and needs to be stretched out to be comfortable. If he wants to go to sleep before an hour after his last feed we rock him to sleep and then sit with him upright on our shoulder until the hour has passed!!!We have the same issue in the night....if he wakes up, he is uncomfortable lying when he is awake so we rock him back off to sleep again then, and then put him back down again. During the day I take him for a walk in his buggy to get him to sleep as this works for him, and my knees and arms can't take too much rocking in a day....he is now 7 months and getting heavy!!!! I worried about what I was doing as you did, but I have tried all the options I can think of without him being uncomfortable or in pain, and this is what works for us. I have also been very lucky in that my health visitor has been brilliant....she reassured me about the sleep issue....we talked through every option we could think of to help him sleep comfortably...all of which I had tried....and decided that this was the best plan for now. I see her now on a monthly basis to discuss the issues, and when it comes to the point that I feel that he is able to lie comfortably, she will support me through whichever sleep training method we feel is most appropriate for us. So, I think I just wanted to say thank you for voicing what were my concerns as well, but that you are not alone, and that you are doing absolutely the right thing. I think I only found one sentence on one website when I was struggling with the sleep issue that said "if your baby has reflux, do not try any sleep training until the reflux is under control." Finding that one line was a lifesaver for me, and reassured me a bit!!! My baby is on Losec and Domperidone, and while he is now not in pain, he is still uncomfortable if he lies down awake. It is difficult when everyone else with babies without reflux has an opinion on what you should try and what is best to get them to sleep, and I think I have got fed up with trying to explain it every time, but I have now accepted that this is how we manage at the moment, and at some point in the future we will have to cross the bridge of helping him to settle on his own...but not while he is uncomfortable!!
Hope this helps a bit!!!
Jo

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Permalink Reply by Zoe Davies on July 18, 2008 at 13:03

This has helped enormously. Just knowing we are not the only ones is such a help - especially when all other people seem to tell me is how well their baby sleeps. I find it really stressful to hear when we've been up in the night at least 3 times. You are so right about sorting the reflux out first before anything else. I really appreciate your reply and I do everyone's. We have held Isaac as he drifts off to sleep the last couple of nights and it is like having a different baby - he is so much more relaxed when upright and sleeps more peacefully when we finally do put him down.
x Zoe

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Permalink Reply by Ginny S on July 20, 2008 at 10:35

I meant to say that Stella is so much better at sleeping since I stopped domperidone - really the difference is amazing. She used to scream all night until I cut it out and was hysterical for about 3 hours every night, sometimes til midnight, even at 7 months. She is so much better only on losec. I am convinced that domperidone gave her terrible stomach cramps.

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Permalink Reply by Zoe Davies on July 20, 2008 at 13:29

Thank you - it helps for someone to say this: the HV's always make me worry that if Isaac won't go to sleep by himself now he never will!!!!! It's really unhelpful of them when they know we're having a nightmare with feeding him.

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Permalink Reply by Katie on July 20, 2008 at 19:42

Hi Zoe.

My son used to be the same. I always had to rock him to sleep before putting him in his cot. He used to wake about 4 times a night and wouldn't go back to sleep until I rocked him, and would then wake up staright away. The hv would say that I shouldn't rock him, but as we know, they can't be lying flat after a feed. Fortunately, he is now 7 months and has been settling himself for the past 6 weeks. After his feed, I wind him and put him in his cot. He eventually falls asleep by himself. I think it is because his reflux is more under control now and he is older, and so seems to be able to settle himself. I just went with my instincts. Do whatever feels right and what you are happy with. Don't listen to anyone else. It will be fine in the end. How old is your little one?

xx

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